That Makes Me Crazy!
“ No one can make you feel inferior without your permission!” Eleanor D. Roosevelt
These words ring so true for me and I would take them a step further to say: no one can make you do or feel anything you do not want to do or feel!
There is a very common language that is used everywhere from day to day conversation to radio, TV news, in all forms of media. It is called the language of “external control”
One of the most common statements is this: “ How did that make you feel?” The minute we say something like this we are implying that something or someone who is external to us can control us. The more accurate statement is “ how do you feel?”
There is a big difference in these two statements. Think about it! In the media everyday events happen that trigger strong emotions in some people but not in others. We may feel a certain way but it is primarily based on our own life experiences and how we perceive them, not just because of the event that occurred. How does that make you feel implies that there is an external event, which is causing you to feel a certain way. It implies an excuse.
When we ask, how do you feel about this it implies personal control. It is something coming from within you. Think about your personal relationships. So often we hear, he/ she made me so mad. I challenge that. They did not make you mad. You chose to be mad. This is a hard one to swallow I know.
But if no one can make you feel inferior without your permission why would anyone be able to make you mad without your permission? To learn more about external versus internal control visit www.choicetheorytraining.com and sign up for my daily musings by mo.