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Moncton Reality Therapy Consultants

Creating a world where people experience "Happy Relationships"

To Boss or Lead! That is the Question!

In today’s economy, the way we manage people is needs to be a top priority. Is it important to create a need satisfying environment? The answer is “ yes”! Do often we become wrapped up in the day- to- day operation of our business and lose sight of our most important customer, our employee. If your employee does not feel valued this feeling will be transferred to you buying customer.

Have you ever gone shopping to a retail store and been treated poorly? The person behind the counter or on the floor are more interested in talking to their friends on their cell phone than they are in serving you?  Have you ever walked away feeling like that was a waste of time, nobody was even interested in me? Employees who are feeling unimportant or undervalued and have no joy or ownership in their work will do just enough work to get the paycheck, which is often minimum wage.

How often do we enter an establishment and feel like we are the number one person there? You are served with a smile and no matter how many questions or demands you may have, you are always treated with respect. It seems like such a happy place yet we know that most are working for minimum wage. So what’s the difference?

I am suggesting the difference comes down to management. In the first case the management may look like this:

1. The boss sets the task and the standards for what has to be done.

2. They usually tell the work what to do and rarely asks for input

3. The boss inspects the work

4. The boss uses coercion and punishment in order to get the worker to do the task the way they want it done.

In the second scenario

1. The lead manager engages the workers in an ongoing, honest discussion of both the cost and the quality of the work needed to be done for the company to be successful.

2. The lead manager, or his designate, shows or models the job so that the worker who is to do the job can see exactly what the manager expects

3. The lead manager eliminates most inspectors and inspections. He or she teaches the workers to evaluate their own work understanding they know their work better than anyone else.

4. The lead manager continually teaches and models for the workers that the essence of quality  is constant improvement..

So often it is the system itself that creates the problems…it is management’s responsibility to work on the system. The worker works in the system.  Workplace relationships are key to quality products, employee retention, satisfaction and quality customer service. Taken from the work of Dr. William Glasser .

www.maureencraigmcintosh.com   This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.  506-386-5868

Sweet Sixteen!

Sweet sixteen? As I ponder the Millennial, we are now 16 years in. It is like a child who is growing and changing. In our youth there is all the innocence of a child as they learn and grow.

As they enter their middle teen years, 13-15, they start striving for independence and there is a lot of struggles and conflicts often with parents, teachers and peers as they work to figure out who they are and start demanding their freedom. It is a time of increased peer pressure as well.  Then the sweet sixteen arrives.

Sweet sixteen is celebrated as a coming of age so to speak. It is a time when we can now get a driver’s license and sign our own consents.

So here we are in the millennial, in our coming of age! So what is 2016 and your coming of age going to look like? Are you going to go for your dreams? Are you going to drive your own life? Are you going to give yourself consent to go for those pictures you have in your head?

How are you going to take care of your relationships both at home and in the workplace? Common of age comes with it’s responsibilities as well. We get our driver’s license but that also means we must follow the rules and the laws of the road, including those set out by our family.  So just as we enter 2016 and we choose to follow our goals, dreams and aspirations, let’ not lose site of the most important relationships in your life!

It is time of great potential? Are you going to control it or is it going to control you? How will you fill yourself up to continue to serve those around you? Sweet sixteen is full of potential! Will you set your goals and follow through for the dreams you are aspiring to?

The field of professional coaching has been around for about 25 years. Have you ever considered working with a coach? A coach can ask you questions to help you dig deep inside and find your own inner genius. I have a couple of spots opening up in February.  You can find out more about me and my coaching, training and speaking right here:  www.maureencraigmcintosh.com 

To receive daily “ Musings by Mo, I invite you to join my inner circle by signing up here www.therelationshipentrepreneur.com

Yours in growing awareness

Maureen Craig McIntosh

Certified Coach, Trainer and Speaker

Dreams! No Goals! No Life!

Let’s talk about goals and growth. Do you have a quality world picture of your ideal life for 2016? What about 2020? You see, I believe we all have pictures in our heads of desires to move ourselves forward.  We have aspirations to be more, to have more, to feel more fulfilled. We dream about those things.

This is what is speaking to you at your core. Are you listening? I have learned that if you do not take time out and listen to yourself and focus on what your dreams and aspirations are, no one else will do it for you. Are you going to be intentional from this day forward?

Do you allow yourself to be still and focus on what your best life would be? You see I believe we are all born with talents and values and that it is our job to use our talents to help others move forward and value ourselves enough to do what we love using our inborn strengths and talents.

I can hear some of you saying, yes I have my dreams but ..and here come the excuses!  We can create as many roadblocks to our dreams as we want or we can assess our dreams, and actually start to work towards them.  We do this by setting some goals and actions that will move us in that direction.

Sadly, some people will sell themselves a bill of goods that goes something like this: “ Sure I have my dreams, but they will never happen!”  You have already set yourself up for failure.

Other will say, “yes I have dreams and I know someday they will work out.” It is called going with the flow.

Others will say, “yes I have my dreams and I am going to do everything I can to have them come to fruition starting today! It may take some time but I know I will work with intention and they will come true!”

Which one are you? Do you have a growth plan to get yourself to where you want to be?  We cannot get to our destination without a map. You would not drive to a holiday destination without learning what you need to know to get there and without a GPS or a map.

What are you going to do in this new year ahead?

www.maureencraigmcintosh.com

www.therelationshipentrepreneur.com

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

506-386-5868

 Dr. William Glasser, world renowned psychiatrist wrote that the main reason people are unhappy is because of a relationship that is not the way they want it to be. Most relationship problems are of one or more of the following variations based on external control.

1. I want you to do something you don’t want to do .

You see we call carry pictures in our head of people, places, things and strong values and we are always behaving to get what we want.  But what happens when what you want to do is different from what someone else in your life wants to do?  Do you spend your time, energy and effort trying to get that person to do something they do not want to do? Do you ever stop to ask yourself, how important is what you want versus the importance of your relationship?

2. You want me to do something I don’t want to do. So now how am I receiving this request to do something I don’t want to do? Is it that I really do not want to do it? Is it in the best interest of my relationship to at least consider it?  Or is it in my best interest to just fight for what I want to do and enlarge the distance between me and the other person.

3. We both want each other to do something neither of us wants to do.  This usually comes down to attending some sort of function that you both may feel obligated to attend. This being said, are you going to fulfill that obligation and accept it as it, or are you going to decide together not to fulfill that obligation? If you choose to do it then recognize you both are choosing to do something neither, of you want to do and that you do have a choice. It makes no sense to bicker and argue with each other unless you want to distance yourself from the other person.

4. I’m trying to force myself to do something I don’t want to do and I am doing this to please someone else.  When you find yourself, in this situation, who is the person responsible? When you choose to do something to please someone else then understand it is a choice that you make.  Hopefully you do something like this because you know it will help your relationship with the other person, but if you are doing it because you believe you have no choice and you are filling yourself with resentments, understand that collecting resentments is the number one killer of relationships,

As we move forward through this year’s end and into next year, ask yourself, “ Who’s behavior can I control? Hopefully, your answer will be, “ only my own”. If you can find a way to get more of what you want without infringing on the rights and needs of others, you will have a much better relationship.

We can choose the deadly relationship habits of blaming, complaining, nagging, criticizing, threatening, punishing and rewarding in an attempt to control or we can focus on the Caring Habits of encouraging, supporting, loving, respecting, trusting, listening and negotiating difference.  The Deadly Habits will destroy our relationships. The Caring Habits will build our relationships stronger

Subcategories

Heath J.

In my mid-30s, I made a life-changing decision to return to university. I sold my house and my car and moved to another country with my partner. It was all in pursuit of a dream career as a university professor. The problem? It made me miserable. Back in Canada for a few months, I sought out Maureen’s counsel. The decision was difficult for me: spend another two years studying something I disliked in a foreign country, but get closer to my dream job, or stop studying and pursue an alternate career path. Maureen never pressured, never judged. She taught me about choice theory, and helped me to identify and manage my insecurities. I found her to be a trustworthy, friendly voice of reason in a difficult, trying time.

I stopped my university studies, and a month later accepted an extremely fulfilling job as a college instructor and department head. I have the job I would have wanted, even if I had finished my degree. I feel happy, challenged and fulfilled. My personal relationships have also benefited from my certainty of choice and confidence. Maureen helped me find my way, and I am grateful for her wise counsel.

Heath J., Moncton

Barb

I thank you for all the opportunities and support you have given me over the many years of our friendship.

My relationship with you and Choice Choice theory has constantly guided and directed my life in a positive direction. The ability to change my thinking enriches my life each day. It helped me survive during the days of my deepest grief. You love your life and all those you have helped love you!

Barbara Rombough

Liette M. Collier

Choice Theory is a powerful life-changing tool. Its language has become a part of me and brings shared-awareness to my family and friends, clients, group participants, and work peers alike. Once we acknowledge the power of choice, that we own it, and that the impact of benefits and consequences alike are ours, we become not only empowered but also released from limiting beliefs and false boundaries.

Liette M. Collier

Robin Sauve

Maureen is a true expert in Choice Theory. She finds a way to apply relevant, practical applications of the theory into real life. Through coaching, Maureen invests a lot of time with her clients, making sure we consider all options. She is an excellent compassionate guide in this journey called life.

Robin Sauve, Marketing Manager

Wholesale & Specialty Products at Irving Oil

Carleen Glasser

Maureen is an outstanding faculty member of the William Glasser Institute! She has expertise in so many areas of the helping professions her contributions to the well-being and happiness of countless people of all ages is truly commendable. If only they could clone Maureen the world would be such a better place!

Carleen Glasser, CEO William Glasser, Inc.

Senior Faculty, Glasser Institute

Laura Prisc

I have been blessed to work with Maureen for several months, as my personal coach. She has skillfully facilitated my personal growth by asking the kinds of questions that require me to dig deep and get to the root of my beliefs, which sometimes hold me back! She provides very perceptive insights, and leads me through a process that drives me to more clearly define my wants, needs, and desires, along with actions I am committed to taking to move myself closer to the vision I hold for my future. I look forward to continuing this journey with Maureen, and highly recommend her as a teacher and coach. If you have the opportunity to work with her, do not hesitate for a second -- just say YES!less

Laura Prisc

Founder at Leadership & Life Potential, LLC

Owner, La Teraz

I have known Maureen as a counsellor, always really coaching for almost 20 years. I know very few people with the integrety and consistency that I have seen in the last two decades. Maureen has been teaching and guiding people in making choices for as long as I can remember with a professionalism and knowledge that is admired by other counselors in the city, including myself. When we host our own team building programs at La Teraz, even though I have training in the field and followed her courses in Choice Theory, I call her and her partner to facilitate the group's segment on Choice Theory. When I need to get honnest and reliable feedback, she is one of the primary people I consult in my own business to get the right questions asked to help me make my own choices to reach my ideal world in business. I not only accept to offer a recommendation I am honoured to refer her as one of the best in her field.less

Owner, La Teraz

Business Development Consultant

Rachelle Daigle

Met Maureen many years ago during a difficult life transition. She was recommended to me and I have been grateful for the connection. Through her teaching of Choice Theory she provides clarity, direction and empowerment to act. I have since been recommending her to anyone I know who is in need of her type of services. You can go see other couselors for months and start to feel better or you can go see Maureen and get direction within a few visits. the results last a life time. 
Love what you do Maureen!less

Rachelle Daigle

Business Development Consultant

Richard Chartrand CFP, CHS, CLU

Maureen is a warm person who is passionate about making a difference in the lives of the people she works with. She is very knowledgeable in her field and much can be learned from her! Maureen thank you so much for a great and "ah ha" filled training, you are a great instructor and such an inspiration. The reason I took this course is because of someone who you taught in the past, which i think says a lot. I felt so comfortable, and your enthusiasm and passion made me want to pay attention to every word. I so look forward to continuing on this journey! Jill Wakelin

Richard Chartrand CFP, CHS, CLU

Helping Financial Advisors (Heroes) Change Lives Forever!

LA Teraz

I very much agree that this training is of utmost benefit to anyone in counselling and in business and sales, I will decline, as i believe it so beneficial that I went for the full certification last year. Maureen is an excellent trainer and I benefited so much with her support, not only in certification, but in all the previous years of knowing this amazing coach. Wishing everyone the best experience in choosing to open this new door to understanding human behavior and choices

LA Teraz