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Moncton Reality Therapy Consultants

Creating a world where people experience "Happy Relationships"

Today is the birth date of the late Dr. Willam Glasser, world -renowned psychiatrist who believed in working with people to develop better relationships. I am honoring him today by speaking into some of the things I have learned from him.

First, I met him and his work in the mid 1980’s when I was working with youth and I wanted to find some tools to help the youth who seemed to have so many problems. Little did I know that when I studied his ideas that it would have such a profound effect on me!

He taught me that the reason most people see the help of a counselor is because there is a relationship problem somewhere in their lives that is not the way they want it to be. Helping people develop better relationships lead to a very high level of happiness.

He taught me a communication process that has helped me help so many over the last 28 years. This communication process has taught me to get out of the way and allow my clients to find their own inner resources.

I am thank-full that he started a movement of creating a world where people learn to experience happy relationships

He was my teacher , friend and mentor for over 25 years. Happy Birthday Bill!
We miss you!

Would you like to learn more? Check out my site: www.monctonrealitytherapy.ca 

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The other I stumbled upon an article about unpacking relationship baggage.  As I read the article I could not help but notice how negative it seemed. You see when one carries relationship baggage the baggage is negative from the point of view that there are unhappy memories about past relationships.

As I pondered that, I wondered, would it not be more worthwhile if we could empower others to dump the baggage before the next relationship. Could it be better to have a clear picture of what a great relationship could look like?

Then my quirky mind took me to actually unpacking my physical baggage from my suitcase and the behaviors I choose when unpacking. If I have clean clothes in my bags, I hang on to them and put them away to use at a later time. So, when it comes to the relationship one could hang on to what is good and save the good things for their tool-box or add them to their pictures of good relationships.

Next, while unpacking my bag, I take the dirty clothes and put them in the hamper to be washed and cleaned. Think about the relationship baggage. In this case some things were bad but a lot has been learned from this. It is possible to have a thorough look at the situations and determine what part one had in that and wash themselves clean of negative behaviors and create a new behavior to use in a new relationship. For instance, getting defensive in a discussion, when one could just listen and respond in a careful way without losing it.

Then there are the toiletries that one uses over and over again. There are the  favorite toothpaste, combs, make-up, underarm deodorant, etc. These things are the habits that occur daily that an individual feels pretty good about. So how does one use the positives in one’s lives?  These are things that are important to us. Here is an opportunity to think about what one truly likes and what is non-negotiable and what one would be willing to compromise on in a new relationship. It comes down to knowing what someone values and believes. I think this can be linked to compatibility.

In poor relationships sometimes people give up things they really enjoy doing because their partner may not like doing it. But if they do too much of that, eventually when the infatuation wears off, resentment will set in and unhappiness comes along because one is no longer enjoying the things they like to do.

Sometimes in our suitcase we have souvenirs or memories of our trip that remind us of the good times. There will always be behaviors or other things that remind us of past experiences but when I unpack my suitcase if there is something that no longer serves me, I throw it away. We need to maintain our awareness of this

Keep the good and discard the bad. 

A Miserable Workplace

A lot of people are talking about happiness these days. Is there something wrong with a happy workplace? I do not know how many times in my lifelong career of working with people I have heard them say: “ I just want to be happy!”   What is happy for you?

I have a definition of happiness for me. I know what it takes for me to feel happy. I have pictures in my head that if I were to achieve them I believe I would be happy.

But when people say they want to be happy, I cannot assume I know what they are talking about. I have to look further into what happiness is for them.

My mentor, friend and teacher, Dr. William Glasser stated that happy people have happy relationships.  We need at least one person in our life that cares about us and who we care about.  If we have difficulty getting along with the significant people in our life then we will be unhappy. If we are around people who are miserable all the time then we will be unhappy.

In an attempt to become happy people turn to pleasure seeking behaviors.  They get involved in addicting behaviors like drugs and alcohol, get involved in risky activities, such as unprotected sex and so on, all in an attempt to feel better.

In my twenty plus years working with youth and all their trials and tribulations, there was one question I used to ask those youth who were really struggling with getting along at home and in school. Most of the time they were using some form of pleasure seeking behavior.  The question was:  “ Have you given up on People?”  You would be surprised by the number of times the answer was “ Yes”.

Can you imagine if your workplace is full of miserable people? These people have unhappy relationships. Maybe the unhappy relationships are limited to the workplace so they do enough to get by because outside of work they are truly happy. What if the workplace were the only place they felt happy?  Can you imagine the productivity and the desire to be at work?

There is so much to share with these ideas.  Check out my guide for meaningful relationships. 

Yours in growing awareness

Maureen Craig McIntosh

www.monctonrealitytherapy.ca

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Here in Eastern Canada it is time to start thinking about changing the tires on our cars. Many of us have tires for winter driving and tires for summer driving. In order to do this you need to do some planning. We generally get our tires out and make an appointment to go get them changed. 

Some do this for themselves but not me. This is one job I choose to hire out.  We need to decide the timing of such an event. Is it going to snow again soon? Will you risk changing them sooner? Will you wait and err on the side of caution or will I take my chances and if it snows again, just stay off the roads till it is over?

It is the beginning of a new season. Spring has sprung and summer is on the way. If  you can relate tire changing to your personal and work goals, what are you striving for in the next four to five months in your business and personal life?  If you are a business owner and entrepreneur, what tasks can you take off your plate and provide employment for someone else? 

Are you going to take some risks or play it safe?  Real growth takes place when you push through your comfort zone. I am not suggesting that we take life threatening risks but what if everyday you chose to do something that you know will help you move forward but you are just a little uncomfortable doing?

Do you work with a coach? Why not? What holds you back?  What are you afraid of?

Coaches are here to help you grow and advance with your most important goals. Wishing you a great week!

www.therelationshipentrepreneur.com

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Subcategories

Heath J.

In my mid-30s, I made a life-changing decision to return to university. I sold my house and my car and moved to another country with my partner. It was all in pursuit of a dream career as a university professor. The problem? It made me miserable. Back in Canada for a few months, I sought out Maureen’s counsel. The decision was difficult for me: spend another two years studying something I disliked in a foreign country, but get closer to my dream job, or stop studying and pursue an alternate career path. Maureen never pressured, never judged. She taught me about choice theory, and helped me to identify and manage my insecurities. I found her to be a trustworthy, friendly voice of reason in a difficult, trying time.

I stopped my university studies, and a month later accepted an extremely fulfilling job as a college instructor and department head. I have the job I would have wanted, even if I had finished my degree. I feel happy, challenged and fulfilled. My personal relationships have also benefited from my certainty of choice and confidence. Maureen helped me find my way, and I am grateful for her wise counsel.

Heath J., Moncton

Barb

I thank you for all the opportunities and support you have given me over the many years of our friendship.

My relationship with you and Choice Choice theory has constantly guided and directed my life in a positive direction. The ability to change my thinking enriches my life each day. It helped me survive during the days of my deepest grief. You love your life and all those you have helped love you!

Barbara Rombough

Liette M. Collier

Choice Theory is a powerful life-changing tool. Its language has become a part of me and brings shared-awareness to my family and friends, clients, group participants, and work peers alike. Once we acknowledge the power of choice, that we own it, and that the impact of benefits and consequences alike are ours, we become not only empowered but also released from limiting beliefs and false boundaries.

Liette M. Collier

Robin Sauve

Maureen is a true expert in Choice Theory. She finds a way to apply relevant, practical applications of the theory into real life. Through coaching, Maureen invests a lot of time with her clients, making sure we consider all options. She is an excellent compassionate guide in this journey called life.

Robin Sauve, Marketing Manager

Wholesale & Specialty Products at Irving Oil

Carleen Glasser

Maureen is an outstanding faculty member of the William Glasser Institute! She has expertise in so many areas of the helping professions her contributions to the well-being and happiness of countless people of all ages is truly commendable. If only they could clone Maureen the world would be such a better place!

Carleen Glasser, CEO William Glasser, Inc.

Senior Faculty, Glasser Institute

Laura Prisc

I have been blessed to work with Maureen for several months, as my personal coach. She has skillfully facilitated my personal growth by asking the kinds of questions that require me to dig deep and get to the root of my beliefs, which sometimes hold me back! She provides very perceptive insights, and leads me through a process that drives me to more clearly define my wants, needs, and desires, along with actions I am committed to taking to move myself closer to the vision I hold for my future. I look forward to continuing this journey with Maureen, and highly recommend her as a teacher and coach. If you have the opportunity to work with her, do not hesitate for a second -- just say YES!less

Laura Prisc

Founder at Leadership & Life Potential, LLC

Owner, La Teraz

I have known Maureen as a counsellor, always really coaching for almost 20 years. I know very few people with the integrety and consistency that I have seen in the last two decades. Maureen has been teaching and guiding people in making choices for as long as I can remember with a professionalism and knowledge that is admired by other counselors in the city, including myself. When we host our own team building programs at La Teraz, even though I have training in the field and followed her courses in Choice Theory, I call her and her partner to facilitate the group's segment on Choice Theory. When I need to get honnest and reliable feedback, she is one of the primary people I consult in my own business to get the right questions asked to help me make my own choices to reach my ideal world in business. I not only accept to offer a recommendation I am honoured to refer her as one of the best in her field.less

Owner, La Teraz

Business Development Consultant

Rachelle Daigle

Met Maureen many years ago during a difficult life transition. She was recommended to me and I have been grateful for the connection. Through her teaching of Choice Theory she provides clarity, direction and empowerment to act. I have since been recommending her to anyone I know who is in need of her type of services. You can go see other couselors for months and start to feel better or you can go see Maureen and get direction within a few visits. the results last a life time. 
Love what you do Maureen!less

Rachelle Daigle

Business Development Consultant

Richard Chartrand CFP, CHS, CLU

Maureen is a warm person who is passionate about making a difference in the lives of the people she works with. She is very knowledgeable in her field and much can be learned from her! Maureen thank you so much for a great and "ah ha" filled training, you are a great instructor and such an inspiration. The reason I took this course is because of someone who you taught in the past, which i think says a lot. I felt so comfortable, and your enthusiasm and passion made me want to pay attention to every word. I so look forward to continuing on this journey! Jill Wakelin

Richard Chartrand CFP, CHS, CLU

Helping Financial Advisors (Heroes) Change Lives Forever!

LA Teraz

I very much agree that this training is of utmost benefit to anyone in counselling and in business and sales, I will decline, as i believe it so beneficial that I went for the full certification last year. Maureen is an excellent trainer and I benefited so much with her support, not only in certification, but in all the previous years of knowing this amazing coach. Wishing everyone the best experience in choosing to open this new door to understanding human behavior and choices

LA Teraz