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Moncton Reality Therapy Consultants

Creating a world where people experience "Happy Relationships"

 

 

Most problems are relationships problems. Have you noticed this? Stop for a minute and think about the times in your life when you have been most upset. What was the situation? What was the thing you were most upset about? Was it something you had control over?

What people were involved? Was it someone close to you or not so close? Was it an important relationship in your life? What behavior did you choose to deal with the issue? Maybe there was not another person involved but maybe the relationship was with yourself and the self-talk you were delivering to you!

In nearly all cases there is a relationship issue somewhere and in a lot of cases it is because we want someone to do something they do not want to do or maybe they want us to do something we do not want to do or just maybe we both want each other to do something that neither of us wants to do. Sometimes we are forcing ourselves to do something mainly to please someone else!

These are the four areas of most relationship problems. If there is one thing I have learned, it is important to look at those areas that affect you directly and find a way to communicate what you want so it does not affect the relationship, which is what you have between you.

Some people in relationships are just destructive or toxic and we will need to discriminate between the two. We will need to ask if this person adds to or takes away from what we have between us, the relationship. Sometimes it is in the best interest of you and the relationship to just let the toxic person go.

This is something that we discuss in our training and there are tools for dealing with such issues. We learn the communication process that helps us get more of what we need and want. Consider joining us May 2,3,4 for in person training in Riverview, New Brunswick. www.choicetheorytraining.com

Can’t come to Riverview? Then you can join us online starting April 6, 2018 www.choicetheoryonline.com

Yours in growing awareness

Maureen

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Reality Therapy is a method of counseling developed by Dr. William Glasser in the 1960's. He first developed the therapy working with young women that were in a detention center in California.  As a young psychiatrist he found a process that seemed to help these young women. When most were released they became successful in the world and did not return to the detention center.

He went on and wrote the book Reality Therapy in 1965 and he soon sold over a million copies and it continues to sell today. Why is that? It is because it is an effective counseling / coaching method that really empowers people to take effective control of their own lives.

There are three premises that Dr. Glasser believed, when he met new clients

1. There was no need to probe at length for the problem. It was always an unsatisfying present relationship. Sometimes we do not recognize it as a client but eventually it nearly always is the case.

2. Since the problem is always in the present there is no need to spend an exhaustive amount of time exploring the past. That does not mean we do not look at the past but we want to use the past for successes that can come to the present.

3.  Avoid listening to people complain about their symptoms, the actions of other people and the world they live in, etc. Reality therapy emphasizes what the client can do now to help them and to improve the present relationship that is the problem.

This seems like a simple process but combined with the understanding of Choice Theory and after using it for more than 30 years I have helped hundreds maybe even thousands of people.  A lot takes place in the conversation and all this is taught in our training programs.

This is the only counseling training that I have ever studies that gives us a process for working with people. I have not included the process or the procedures that lead to change here but rather have included an understanding that we share when we use Reality  Therapy.

When we learn Choice Theory and we understand the how and why of human behavior and include in that a process of communication for working with others both professionally and personally we have a very successful training program that is taught all over the world.

If this interests you, we have two training dates coming up.

1. April 6 is our next online training program. For more information: www.choicetheoryonline.com
2. May 2, 3, 4 is our next in person in Riverview, New Brunswick. www.choicetheorytraining.com

As I watched the Figure Skating Dance Competition, I could not help thinking about what it takes as two people to dance together on skates as much as they have to do to make the Olympics and then to skate a flawless skate.

I was in awe of the connection and trust between these dancers on skates. Do they have to really like each other? They spend hour upon hour together perfecting their craft. What happens when things do not go as planned? How do they handle the relationship issues? It takes a lot of dedication!

Even a brother and sister that skated together have to have a special partnership/bond. Can you imagine what the agreement must be? Most of us struggle in our relationships with siblings at some point in our lives and yet they appear on the ice and skate to perfect in total harmony!

I was pondering about relationships. Do we fight for our intimate relationships to the extent that Olympic athletes must do in any pair competition? What if we truly did that? I am sure that there are hundreds of people that fight for their relationships in the same way.

There were people all over the world staying up at all hours to catch the pairs skate. Why is that? What does it bring us beyond the gold metal? I like to think it brings “ hope” to all relationships. Seriously some skating couples never make it beyond the first level because they have not developed the passion and the commitment to fight together to reach that goal.

Is marriage not the same way? Do we commit and struggle and fight for our relationships or do we simply say. “ I can always just leave”. We all need someone significant in our life who cares enough about us to lift us up! Who are you lifting today?

Is there huge trust in your relationships? Are you like the skaters and just trust that you will get through this together whatever it is? Even when the skaters had a flaw or a fall, there was no display of the deadly habits. Trust, honesty and respect are the three key ingredients to a good relationship. That does not mean there are not struggles but do we use those behaviors to develop our best relationship possible?

Yours in growing awareness

Maureen

www.monctonrealitytherapy.ca

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506-386-5868

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I recently attended my first basketball game of the season. We have a new team with new owners and there is a lot of hope in the air! The owners are doing a great job with advertising, merchandize, supporting the coach with capital to get the best players. It is really interesting to see this develop.

The last few years it has been mostly the league carrying the team because owners had not been found. What a difference when an entrepreneurs takes over. They have stepped up to the plate and are focused on getting the job done. They are invested in the outcome.  They know about setting vision, mission and goals and creating the plan to go after said vision. The name of our new team is appropriate because you can actually see and begin to feel the magic.

The team is the Moncton Magic and last evening they were playing against the Saint John Riptide. There were still two players to be cut from the team so they were all working hard for a spot.  The interesting thing is that there was a great crowd that filled the gym at Crandall University.  The buzz about is that of hope. You can feel hope when it is around you.

With new owners and a new team, people are coming on board. Really when it comes to sports, I find people quite fickle. They do not show up and support losers. Maybe I am the crazy one here but I supported the team we had for the six years they played. I never lost hope.

I guess the difference between those that stayed connected and supported the team and those that left is that those that stayed knew that to have “ hope” is a choice.  Besides they were there for the love of the game and value never giving up.

This group of owners will need great support from the community in order to stay in business. I hope the community will step up and support them. Otherwise we will be back at square one. I did see people in the crowd that I have not seen at the games in recent years and lots of interest in supporting this new team

Time will tell. What about you? Do you have a favorite sport? Do you support your team or do you give up on them. I learned a long time ago that “ persistence is the key to success”.

Yours in growing awareness

Maureen

www.monctonrealitytherapy.ca

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Subcategories

Heath J.

In my mid-30s, I made a life-changing decision to return to university. I sold my house and my car and moved to another country with my partner. It was all in pursuit of a dream career as a university professor. The problem? It made me miserable. Back in Canada for a few months, I sought out Maureen’s counsel. The decision was difficult for me: spend another two years studying something I disliked in a foreign country, but get closer to my dream job, or stop studying and pursue an alternate career path. Maureen never pressured, never judged. She taught me about choice theory, and helped me to identify and manage my insecurities. I found her to be a trustworthy, friendly voice of reason in a difficult, trying time.

I stopped my university studies, and a month later accepted an extremely fulfilling job as a college instructor and department head. I have the job I would have wanted, even if I had finished my degree. I feel happy, challenged and fulfilled. My personal relationships have also benefited from my certainty of choice and confidence. Maureen helped me find my way, and I am grateful for her wise counsel.

Heath J., Moncton

Barb

I thank you for all the opportunities and support you have given me over the many years of our friendship.

My relationship with you and Choice Choice theory has constantly guided and directed my life in a positive direction. The ability to change my thinking enriches my life each day. It helped me survive during the days of my deepest grief. You love your life and all those you have helped love you!

Barbara Rombough

Liette M. Collier

Choice Theory is a powerful life-changing tool. Its language has become a part of me and brings shared-awareness to my family and friends, clients, group participants, and work peers alike. Once we acknowledge the power of choice, that we own it, and that the impact of benefits and consequences alike are ours, we become not only empowered but also released from limiting beliefs and false boundaries.

Liette M. Collier

Robin Sauve

Maureen is a true expert in Choice Theory. She finds a way to apply relevant, practical applications of the theory into real life. Through coaching, Maureen invests a lot of time with her clients, making sure we consider all options. She is an excellent compassionate guide in this journey called life.

Robin Sauve, Marketing Manager

Wholesale & Specialty Products at Irving Oil

Carleen Glasser

Maureen is an outstanding faculty member of the William Glasser Institute! She has expertise in so many areas of the helping professions her contributions to the well-being and happiness of countless people of all ages is truly commendable. If only they could clone Maureen the world would be such a better place!

Carleen Glasser, CEO William Glasser, Inc.

Senior Faculty, Glasser Institute

Laura Prisc

I have been blessed to work with Maureen for several months, as my personal coach. She has skillfully facilitated my personal growth by asking the kinds of questions that require me to dig deep and get to the root of my beliefs, which sometimes hold me back! She provides very perceptive insights, and leads me through a process that drives me to more clearly define my wants, needs, and desires, along with actions I am committed to taking to move myself closer to the vision I hold for my future. I look forward to continuing this journey with Maureen, and highly recommend her as a teacher and coach. If you have the opportunity to work with her, do not hesitate for a second -- just say YES!less

Laura Prisc

Founder at Leadership & Life Potential, LLC

Owner, La Teraz

I have known Maureen as a counsellor, always really coaching for almost 20 years. I know very few people with the integrety and consistency that I have seen in the last two decades. Maureen has been teaching and guiding people in making choices for as long as I can remember with a professionalism and knowledge that is admired by other counselors in the city, including myself. When we host our own team building programs at La Teraz, even though I have training in the field and followed her courses in Choice Theory, I call her and her partner to facilitate the group's segment on Choice Theory. When I need to get honnest and reliable feedback, she is one of the primary people I consult in my own business to get the right questions asked to help me make my own choices to reach my ideal world in business. I not only accept to offer a recommendation I am honoured to refer her as one of the best in her field.less

Owner, La Teraz

Business Development Consultant

Rachelle Daigle

Met Maureen many years ago during a difficult life transition. She was recommended to me and I have been grateful for the connection. Through her teaching of Choice Theory she provides clarity, direction and empowerment to act. I have since been recommending her to anyone I know who is in need of her type of services. You can go see other couselors for months and start to feel better or you can go see Maureen and get direction within a few visits. the results last a life time. 
Love what you do Maureen!less

Rachelle Daigle

Business Development Consultant

Richard Chartrand CFP, CHS, CLU

Maureen is a warm person who is passionate about making a difference in the lives of the people she works with. She is very knowledgeable in her field and much can be learned from her! Maureen thank you so much for a great and "ah ha" filled training, you are a great instructor and such an inspiration. The reason I took this course is because of someone who you taught in the past, which i think says a lot. I felt so comfortable, and your enthusiasm and passion made me want to pay attention to every word. I so look forward to continuing on this journey! Jill Wakelin

Richard Chartrand CFP, CHS, CLU

Helping Financial Advisors (Heroes) Change Lives Forever!

LA Teraz

I very much agree that this training is of utmost benefit to anyone in counselling and in business and sales, I will decline, as i believe it so beneficial that I went for the full certification last year. Maureen is an excellent trainer and I benefited so much with her support, not only in certification, but in all the previous years of knowing this amazing coach. Wishing everyone the best experience in choosing to open this new door to understanding human behavior and choices

LA Teraz