logo


Moncton Reality Therapy Consultants

Creating a world where people experience "Happy Relationships"

 

 

Book fair photo 2018 copy 2LN

What comes first our thoughts or our feelings? This is a very common discussion in my world. It is like the chicken or the egg or at least it seems that way. We just cannot help how we feel at any given time but we can change how we feel indirectly.

Let me explain. If someone says something to me that is offensive in some way, I will feel a brief involuntary burst of pain. If I continue to focus on what was said and I tell myself stories about what was said, I will perpetuate my bad feelings..

If on the other hand, I understand that it was that person’s best attempt at the time to get something that they wanted and that it was about them, I can evaluate if there is anything I want and could do and then move on. People are always doing the best they can do with what they know.

What we focus on expands. There is a lot of truth in this quote. If your partner says something to you and you feel upset and then continue to focus on that all day, it gets bigger and bigger and you get more and more upset.

It is like road rage. Did you know that if you become extremely upset with someone who cuts you off in traffic or does some other misbehavior that it takes at least an hour and ½ to calm down. If something else happens while you are recovering from that event, and you tell yourself how terrible this day is by the end of the day you are feeling pretty miserable.

What would happen if you simple acknowledged the incident and let it go and focus on the many good things that could happen that day. Our minds are amazing and it is up to us to use them to our advantage. I reiterate, we may not be able to help how we feel at the time, but we can check our thinking and change those feelings.

Drinking water copy

Last evening was the first time I facilitated training in the evening in a very long time and I goofed! You see, I carried a daytime habit over into the evening. I drank water the whole time. The funny thing is, we were talking about the old brain and the new brain and the difference between the two according to Dr. William Glasser’s Choice Theory.

The old brain is the lower part of the brain located at the top of the spinal column and is responsible for our survival, food, water, air and reproduction to name a few. It is what keeps us alive and is the last part of us to die.

The new brain is the much larger part of the brain called the Cerebral Cortex and this holds our psychological needs of love and belonging, power, fun and freedom but the two brains are in constant communication with each other but I digress.

What was my goof? I drank water all evening. Why is that so bad? I was up in the night no less than three times. My old brain let me know that I needed to be up. Our discussion last evening was timely.

We talked about the implications of the old and new brain in relation to our relationships, in relation to problems with addiction and over eating. We watched a wonderful video with Lynn Sumida as she explained the Choice Theory chart and what it means to have the negative feedback loop.

Yes, there was lots of learning and lots of fun and even though I drank water all evening, it was a wonderful time full of “ ah ha” moments. Our next training session is coming up starting October 10, 2018 and registration will close October 3.

I can guarantee this is a training program that will add tremendous value to you so sign up here: www.choicetheorytraining.com

If you would rather be more self-directed with your learning join us Oct 2 at we start our online training. www.choicetheoryonline.com

Yours in growing awareness

Maureen Craig McIntosh

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

506-386-5868

This morning I saw a post about a young girl fighting for the right to play little league baseball in 1972. It reminded me of my own challenge. Oh, How I loved baseball! I wanted to play in the league so badly it was crazy.

Growing up in a small town I never missed a game that my two brothers played in. I was more fortunate than many, since my father helped as a coach, I was able to go with him and I was permitted to warm up the pitchers between innings.

Yes, I was not permitted to play in the league but while the boys were getting geared up with their vest and shin pads and face mask, I was behind the plate with a catcher’s mitt with no protection. I could throw it back to the picture as good as the pitcher could throw.

I really resented not being able to play with the boys but I found a way to get some satisfaction in the game. That would have been in the late fifties. By 1970, I was playing in a women’s softball league in Quebec for one summer. I played first base and catch and I was good at it too! My then husband complained so bitterly that it was not a thing a woman should be doing, that I listened and gave it up! Oh to know what I know today!

Just recently, I heard my son tell my grandson that if he wanted to learn to play baseball he should ask Grammy Mo to teach him how to catch, because it was not his strength. We have thrown the ball around a little but not with hard balls and gloves yet.

When you want something bad enough there is always a way to find it. That goes for our Choice Theory Training as well. If you want it bad enough we can figure out a way forward whether it is online or in person. Contact me or follow the links:

www.choicetheoryonline.com

www.choicetheorytraining.com

Wishing you a wonderful weekend.

Yours in growing awareness

Maureen

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

506-386-5868

What are the qualities of a good relationship? Have you even thought about it? What is this elusive thing called love?

These are my three favorite questions when people are having relationships issues. Do you have a picture of the ideal relationship? So often the answer is “ sort of .” Where do we get our relationship education?

I will hear things like I just want to be treated with respect, openness and honesty. How do you know you have that? You see sometimes we have a picture in our head of how we would like our relationships to be but we don’t believe it is possible or our picture is like Pie in the Sky.

People tell me love is a feeling. Love is not a feeling. Chemistry is the feeling that brings us together but loving behaviors keep us together.

If you are with someone who discounts your feelings by telling you that you should not feel a certain way, puts you down all the time, tells you that you will never manage something , disrespects you and does not listen, this is not love. This is about the need for power.

Loving behavior is a behavior designed to help us be our best selves. When someone truly loves you they support and encourage you. They listen to you and respect and trust you. It is about wanting to give more to the relationship that receive from the relationship.

Our choice theory training is designed to help you sort all this out. We teach about behavior and how to get more of what you need and want. You will also receive the tools to help others do the same.

Our next online training starts September 18, 2018 at 4pm ADT. Check it out here: www.choicetheoryonline.com

Our next in person training starts October 10, 2018 at 9am. To register: www.choicetheorytraining.com or contact me directly

Yours in growing awareness

Maureen

Subcategories

Heath J.

In my mid-30s, I made a life-changing decision to return to university. I sold my house and my car and moved to another country with my partner. It was all in pursuit of a dream career as a university professor. The problem? It made me miserable. Back in Canada for a few months, I sought out Maureen’s counsel. The decision was difficult for me: spend another two years studying something I disliked in a foreign country, but get closer to my dream job, or stop studying and pursue an alternate career path. Maureen never pressured, never judged. She taught me about choice theory, and helped me to identify and manage my insecurities. I found her to be a trustworthy, friendly voice of reason in a difficult, trying time.

I stopped my university studies, and a month later accepted an extremely fulfilling job as a college instructor and department head. I have the job I would have wanted, even if I had finished my degree. I feel happy, challenged and fulfilled. My personal relationships have also benefited from my certainty of choice and confidence. Maureen helped me find my way, and I am grateful for her wise counsel.

Heath J., Moncton

Barb

I thank you for all the opportunities and support you have given me over the many years of our friendship.

My relationship with you and Choice Choice theory has constantly guided and directed my life in a positive direction. The ability to change my thinking enriches my life each day. It helped me survive during the days of my deepest grief. You love your life and all those you have helped love you!

Barbara Rombough

Liette M. Collier

Choice Theory is a powerful life-changing tool. Its language has become a part of me and brings shared-awareness to my family and friends, clients, group participants, and work peers alike. Once we acknowledge the power of choice, that we own it, and that the impact of benefits and consequences alike are ours, we become not only empowered but also released from limiting beliefs and false boundaries.

Liette M. Collier

Robin Sauve

Maureen is a true expert in Choice Theory. She finds a way to apply relevant, practical applications of the theory into real life. Through coaching, Maureen invests a lot of time with her clients, making sure we consider all options. She is an excellent compassionate guide in this journey called life.

Robin Sauve, Marketing Manager

Wholesale & Specialty Products at Irving Oil

Carleen Glasser

Maureen is an outstanding faculty member of the William Glasser Institute! She has expertise in so many areas of the helping professions her contributions to the well-being and happiness of countless people of all ages is truly commendable. If only they could clone Maureen the world would be such a better place!

Carleen Glasser, CEO William Glasser, Inc.

Senior Faculty, Glasser Institute

Laura Prisc

I have been blessed to work with Maureen for several months, as my personal coach. She has skillfully facilitated my personal growth by asking the kinds of questions that require me to dig deep and get to the root of my beliefs, which sometimes hold me back! She provides very perceptive insights, and leads me through a process that drives me to more clearly define my wants, needs, and desires, along with actions I am committed to taking to move myself closer to the vision I hold for my future. I look forward to continuing this journey with Maureen, and highly recommend her as a teacher and coach. If you have the opportunity to work with her, do not hesitate for a second -- just say YES!less

Laura Prisc

Founder at Leadership & Life Potential, LLC

Owner, La Teraz

I have known Maureen as a counsellor, always really coaching for almost 20 years. I know very few people with the integrety and consistency that I have seen in the last two decades. Maureen has been teaching and guiding people in making choices for as long as I can remember with a professionalism and knowledge that is admired by other counselors in the city, including myself. When we host our own team building programs at La Teraz, even though I have training in the field and followed her courses in Choice Theory, I call her and her partner to facilitate the group's segment on Choice Theory. When I need to get honnest and reliable feedback, she is one of the primary people I consult in my own business to get the right questions asked to help me make my own choices to reach my ideal world in business. I not only accept to offer a recommendation I am honoured to refer her as one of the best in her field.less

Owner, La Teraz

Business Development Consultant

Rachelle Daigle

Met Maureen many years ago during a difficult life transition. She was recommended to me and I have been grateful for the connection. Through her teaching of Choice Theory she provides clarity, direction and empowerment to act. I have since been recommending her to anyone I know who is in need of her type of services. You can go see other couselors for months and start to feel better or you can go see Maureen and get direction within a few visits. the results last a life time. 
Love what you do Maureen!less

Rachelle Daigle

Business Development Consultant

Richard Chartrand CFP, CHS, CLU

Maureen is a warm person who is passionate about making a difference in the lives of the people she works with. She is very knowledgeable in her field and much can be learned from her! Maureen thank you so much for a great and "ah ha" filled training, you are a great instructor and such an inspiration. The reason I took this course is because of someone who you taught in the past, which i think says a lot. I felt so comfortable, and your enthusiasm and passion made me want to pay attention to every word. I so look forward to continuing on this journey! Jill Wakelin

Richard Chartrand CFP, CHS, CLU

Helping Financial Advisors (Heroes) Change Lives Forever!

LA Teraz

I very much agree that this training is of utmost benefit to anyone in counselling and in business and sales, I will decline, as i believe it so beneficial that I went for the full certification last year. Maureen is an excellent trainer and I benefited so much with her support, not only in certification, but in all the previous years of knowing this amazing coach. Wishing everyone the best experience in choosing to open this new door to understanding human behavior and choices

LA Teraz